Killarney residents value fine journalism

A glance at the driveways in our suburb reveals the value we place on quality writing. Many households collect copies of the local paper for later study.

Bird and Cat elope

Does anyone else not see the obvious connection here?

My guess is that they've run away together.

Don't mess with success - original Killarney homes still selling

Spurning the trend of "knock down, re-build" that is blighting our fine traditional suburb, a home in Blarney Avenue, Killarney Heights - untouched since 1963 is on sale and expected to go for over a million.

One owner, Mr Kenneth Hall and his late wife Eileen left it in pristine condition including stunning floral patterned carpet.

In a few short years all these "sugar cube" style buildings will be pushed over and replaced with "ranch style" ultra-modern designs where we can park our 12 cylinder hot rods and be happy at last.

Bus stop beautification program begins on Starkey

It looks like a fantastic new program to beautify the bus stops of Killarney Heights has begun with little fanfare on Starkey street this week.

This well kept secret is clearly out. Can't wait for the rest of them to be done.

Killarney advanced driving class graduates

You've no doubt seen participants in the famous Killarney Heights advanced driving classes in our streets - zooming around, popping out of side streets, and skilfully negotiating the Melwood obstacle course.

The class of 2015 has graduated and the winner hit the finish line with great enthusiasm:

In past years the finish was a few doors down, next to the tennis centre. We look forward to safer streets in the years ahead, but beware on the footpaths.

June 2015 Update

It seems that a second class has just graduated a few doors away in the traditional manner:

Congratulations to all concerned.

Streets of fear

Disturbing news of a Killarney Crime Wave. This understated report from a pillar of our society, the Manly Daily:

Undoubtedly a Task Force is being assembled right now.

Update it seems that the police presence on our streets has been boosted. Here's the Starkey Street patrol seen today:

We can begin to sleep soundly again.

Local Member Survives Terrorist Attack

Mr Jimmy, a Killarney resident and observer of the political scene, writes..

The Rt Hon Tony Abbott, local MP and close friend of Prince Philip, was recovering in Canberra this morning after a vicious attack apparently instigated by two "wild Westies" from within his own party. In what appears to be a coordinated suicide mission by the backbenchers, the PM was ambushed and threatened with a "spill" once the party had worked out the process. Mr Abbott survived the unprovoked attack and emerged smiling and confident from the party room, surrounded by ecstatic supporters eager to say "nice things" about the Government when journalists call them, as instructed.

Hasta La Vista Baby

A good friend, Arnold Schwarzenneger impersonator and Finance Minister, Sen M Cormann was overheard saying "Say hello to my little friend". It's not clear if he was referring to the PM, although he did say that "Abbott's come from behind before" without being specific about what he was up to at the time.

Guidance From Above

In related news, Senator C Bernardi (Monster Raving Liberal Party) attributed the attack on our Dear Leader to a cabal of unnamed (except for M Turnbull) plotters and called for divine retribution, suggesting Mr Turnbull should be tarred and feathered, or  exiled to Manus Island, or at the very least go quietly. Since Mr Turnbull has pointedly said nothing throughout, he would seem to be doing the latter and as far as Manus is concerned, Mr S Morrison has advised Sen Bernardi that the venue is already overcrowded with blokes who speak funny.

Shortening Odds

Opposition leader Bill Shorten welcomed Mr Abbott's escape from friendly fire. Forget Paul Keating, he quipped, just wait until the next question time - my script writers are bound to have a few terrific one-liners teed up for me by then.