Killarney local proposes solution to indigenous child abuse

Outspoken Killarney Heights local Yvonne has published a detailed proposal in The Australian as follows:

"Yvonne Crane, Killarney Heights, NSW

The horror of indigenous child rape and endemic abuse is now an indelible stain on our national character. Something must be done immediately, no matter what the cost. As far as I can see, the only possible solution is to set up indigenous boarding schools and staff them with highly trained but closely monitored personnel. Let anyone raising the Stolen Generations mantra come up with a better option."

No announcement of where in Killarney Heights the new indigenous boarding school will be situated has been made so far but Killarney drive might be a good spot with a lovely bush and water outlook.

Residents call to make Killarney Great Again

Australia Day, 2018 brought out the best in conservative Killarney Heights residents who displayed flags in front of their properties calling for us to get back to the great days of the past when Killarney Heights was in the fine custody of the Gadigal tribe.

The now traditional annual display of unified support for local real estate agents was once again on display.

Unlike past years when the flags were proudly made in China, this year they appear to have been made by hand locally.

Witches coven comes to Killarney

Your sharp-eyed correspondent spotted this spooky symbol obviously marking the meeting place of a group of local witches near the bus stop on the corner of Connemara and Starkey streets.

Now that our Tony has been appraised of the true radical views of his own electorate we are no doubt on a slippery slope towards paganism.

Be on the lookout for pentagrams, triquetras, three snakes, endless knots and hectates wheels which will be dotting our suburb in the months ahead.

A bit of nude frolicking in the forest will surely enhance local land values.

Local school up for sale

Locals were stunned today to learn that the local school is apparently being sold off in another example of rampant privatisation presumably promoted by our Federal member.

First it was roads, then poles and wires, and now even public schools appear to be under the hammer.

"Renovator's delight! twelve large bedrooms, plenty of toilets, giant back yard, and off street parking" all makes this a desirable investment for any growing family who wants to get in while the market is down.

Luxurious new bus stop seating being installed

In an effort to further enhance the already very comfortable and pleasant experience of waiting just 20 minutes for the Killarney shuttle to come around again, it seems that new luxury seating is being trialled at one of the stops on the route.

Full leather couches are an obvious next step but for now, this will have to do.

Futuristic transport system trialled first in Killarney Heights

It may not be a Bullet Train or a Hyperloop but once again Killarney Heights is at the forefront of modern transport.

This modern Hino bus, with number plate DDABUS, is the first one in the Forest Coach Lines fleet. Naturally it's being trialled right here. A customer survey is offered to interested patrons where you can give feedback on the comfort and cleanliness of the ride.

A narrower bus is particularly useful on some of our narrower streets where residents park their giant bubble cars on both sides of the road leaving little space for a giant bus to pass through.

Well done Forest Coach Lines for this terrific innovation!

Killarney Shops rocked by pizza scandal

A much loved part of the Killarney shopping experience was the friendly Twigs & Blossoms couture store which professionally and in a friendly way supplied us with a variety of interesting clothes and miscellaneous goods not including twigs.

Locals were shocked to see the note shown here in the window alleging that the land lord had unreasonably not given the store the ability to reasonably renew the lease.

Liz sold up remaining stock at a significant discount and was seen sadly packing up and even selling off shop fittings marking the end of a physical shop and moving to their online operation.

She was a very friendly shop keeper, a credit to the area and will be greatly missed.

More shocking is the rumour that the shop is to be turned in to a pizza restaurant. We already have a pizza restaurant so this was a bit of a surprise. When I enquired what the proprietor at Sorrenti's Pizza thought of this he said, sarcastically, it's a "genius move".

Now that the shop is empty, it's clear that the pizza rumour may well be true as the floor has been marked out and one of the areas seems to say "Gelato".

But all is clearly not going to plan as now the shop is marked as available for lease!

We will have updates as they come to hand.