Local Member Part II

Mr Jimmy - local resident and follower of the political scene, writes:

The Honourable Tony Abbott, our local member (at least for the time being) and former Dear Leader of the Liberal party has once again been the target of an unprovoked knife attack by a cabal of colleagues in the normally quiet surrounds of Canberra. Trusted (sic) lieutenant Julie Bishop was sent in to "shirt front" the PM, as he was then, and invite him to convene a sociable soiree with all of his closest mates. The rest is history. King Kong is dead and his urbane successor promises "advocacy, not slogans" which has now been repeated so often on every TV and radio channel across the country that it surely qualifies as the first de facto slogan of the Turnbull regime.

Several close confidants of Mr Abbott are reportedly considering their options following their leader's sudden fall from grace. Western Australian funny man Senator Mathias Cormann is widely expected to fall back on his second career as an Arnold Schwarzenegger impersonator whilst "Jovial Joe" Hockey may be forced to dispose of some of his portfolio of rental properties in order to continue to fund his penchant for hand rolled Cuban cigars. Alternatively, he may heed his own recent advice and seek to secure a well paid job.

As to Mr Abbott himself, the prospect of life on the back benches is unlikely to appeal and pundits are predicting an early exit from politics in order to spend more time with his $300K (excluding "extras") annual pension. Perhaps the denizens of Killarney Heights will once again be treated to the sight of our famous resident MAMIL (middle aged man in Lycra) pedalling furiously up the Starkey Street hill to prove he is still fit enough to overtake the Killarney Shuttle.

Vale Mr Tony. When will we see your like again? [Probably not any time soon. Ed.]