Friday, November 24, 2017

Witches coven comes to Killarney

Your sharp-eyed correspondent spotted this spooky symbol obviously marking the meeting place of a group of local witches near the bus stop on the corner of Connemara and Starkey streets.

Now that our Tony has been appraised of the true radical views of his own electorate we are no doubt on a slippery slope towards paganism.

Be on the lookout for pentagrams, triquetras, three snakes, endless knots and hectates wheels which will be dotting our suburb in the months ahead.

A bit of nude frolicking in the forest will surely enhance local land values.

Saturday, November 4, 2017

Local school up for sale

Locals were stunned today to learn that the local school is apparently being sold off in another example of rampant privatisation presumably promoted by our Federal member.

First it was roads, then poles and wires, and now even public schools appear to be under the hammer.

"Renovator's delight! twelve large bedrooms, plenty of toilets, giant back yard, and off street parking" all makes this a desirable investment for any growing family who wants to get in while the market is down.