Friday, November 24, 2017

Witches coven comes to Killarney

Your sharp-eyed correspondent spotted this spooky symbol obviously marking the meeting place of a group of local witches near the bus stop on the corner of Connemara and Starkey streets.

Now that our Tony has been appraised of the true radical views of his own electorate we are no doubt on a slippery slope towards paganism.

Be on the lookout for pentagrams, triquetras, three snakes, endless knots and hectates wheels which will be dotting our suburb in the months ahead.

A bit of nude frolicking in the forest will surely enhance local land values.

Saturday, November 4, 2017

Local school up for sale

Locals were stunned today to learn that the local school is apparently being sold off in another example of rampant privatisation presumably promoted by our Federal member.

First it was roads, then poles and wires, and now even public schools appear to be under the hammer.

"Renovator's delight! twelve large bedrooms, plenty of toilets, giant back yard, and off street parking" all makes this a desirable investment for any growing family who wants to get in while the market is down.

Tuesday, October 24, 2017

Luxurious new bus stop seating being installed

In an effort to further enhance the already very comfortable and pleasant experience of waiting just 20 minutes for the Killarney shuttle to come around again, it seems that new luxury seating is being trialled at one of the stops on the route.

Full leather couches are an obvious next step but for now, this will have to do.

Saturday, September 16, 2017

Futuristic transport system trialled first in Killarney Heights

It may not be a Bullet Train or a Hyperloop but once again Killarney Heights is at the forefront of modern transport.


This modern Hino bus, with number plate DDABUS, is the first one in the Forest Coach Lines fleet. Naturally it's being trialled right here. A customer survey is offered to interested patrons where you can give feedback on the comfort and cleanliness of the ride.




A narrower bus is particularly useful on some of our narrower streets where residents park their giant bubble cars on both sides of the road leaving little space for a giant bus to pass through.



Well done Forest Coach Lines for this terrific innovation!

Tuesday, August 29, 2017

Killarney Shops rocked by pizza scandal

A much loved part of the Killarney shopping experience was the friendly Twigs & Blossoms couture store which professionally and in a friendly way supplied us with a variety of interesting clothes and miscellaneous goods not including twigs.

Locals were shocked to see the note shown here in the window alleging that the land lord had unreasonably not given the store the ability to reasonably renew the lease.

Liz sold up remaining stock at a significant discount and was seen sadly packing up and even selling off shop fittings marking the end of a physical shop and moving to their online operation.

She was a very friendly shop keeper, a credit to the area and will be greatly missed.

More shocking is the rumour that the shop is to be turned in to a pizza restaurant. We already have a pizza restaurant so this was a bit of a surprise. When I enquired what the proprietor at Sorrenti's Pizza thought of this he said, sarcastically, it's a "genius move".

Now that the shop is empty, it's clear that the pizza rumour may well be true as the floor has been marked out and one of the areas seems to say "Gelato".


But all is clearly not going to plan as now the shop is marked as available for lease!


We will have updates as they come to hand.

Saturday, August 5, 2017

Close royal links to Killarney revealed

Killarney Heights resident Brian Wild has revealed to News Corp journalists that he was part of a secret operation to smuggle the future Princess Diana out of Australia in a luxury Toyota Corona.

Brian bravely escorted Dianna and her mother to the airport to catch a special Qantas flight.

During the three hours that Brian spent with the pair he clearly gave the young Dianna some sage advice as it was just a month later that she announced that she intended to marry in to the royal family.

There is no doubt that the extraordinary tales of excitement experienced right here in Killarney Heights primed the pump for the popular princess.

As a gesture of thanks, Brian and his wife Joy were sent a piece of wedding cake which, despite its age, is reported to still smell ok. Brian, it's time to eat that cake.

Sunday, April 23, 2017

Suspects named in horrific double murder

Rosie and Peggy were murdered right on Starkey street. Carmel is fine, although in shock presumably, but Liquorice was injured in the vicious attack. She has received the best of medical care.

Suspects at this stage are either a feral cat or perhaps a fox.

Personally, I think a rabbit could be the ring leader calling in the "hit" to point the finger at foxes which seem to be getting the upper hand recently.

On behalf of all of the photographers, writers, sub-editors, executive editors, social media wranglers, managers and staff here at the Killarney Heights Suburb blog our sincere condolences to the friends of these beloved chickens.

Moving floral tributes continue to be left at the sight of the slaughter.




Reports are coming in to the blog that another two chickens in Connemara Ave were also taken at about the same time.

Sunday, April 2, 2017

Cyclone Debbie hits Killarney hard

Small businesses in Killarney Heights have suffered significant damage from the torrential rains which have fallen in the area in the aftermath of ex tropical cyclone Debbie.

Emergency supplies of chalk and dictionaries will be needed urgently to get things back on track at Tramore place.